Holiday travel torture

First off let me say that I feel fortunate to be traveling to Germany. If I didn’t have that opportunity I wouldn’t be in a position to complain about it.

I find the whole process of airline travel unpleasant. The longer flights to and from Germany make it more unpleasant, and the holiday time just makes it worse as everyone seems overloaded with the extra traffic, limited time, and general stress.

There’s traffic, parking, the security process, lateness of flights, anxiety over missing flights, bad food, surly airport people (employees and travelers).

For me it starts with trying to select the optimal seat that will result in no one sitting next to me. On a long flight, to me this is the key determination in my level of discomfort. There’s nothing worse than having someone next to you whose body is spilling over into your seat while you try to fit within the 12 inches they graciously give you.

I look at the seat map on-line, up to the day of the flight, and move my assignment if needed. I think I’ve got the system down pretty well. I’ve been lucky lately, which means I’ve also gotten spoiled.

This time I was all set to have an open seat next to me, maybe even the whole row. Then along came Mom, Dad, and teenage brother and sister, headed for my row. Dad and son took the row in front of me, leaving the middle open (nice for them), while Mom and daughter decided to sit with me. It could be worse, I thought, since they at least fit in their seats.

Then after we took off, Dad, sitting in front of me, jammed his seat back as far as it would go, leaving me no chance of working on my laptop. It was a rather comical sight: I was squeezed into a tiny little space while the family of four was spread out in relative comfort. They turned and chatted, passed treats back and forth, while I banged my knees against the seat in front of me.

The food was bad, the movies were bad, and a 2-year-old in the next row yelled most of the way. The only thing that saved me was my iPod. Thanks to my friend Tris for showing me how to download some nice live Grateful Dead shows from like 1968 -- fitting music to settle in for a long flight.

Arrival in the U.S. was like the last trip at Thanksgiving: crowds of hurried travelers and prison-guard-like security people.

When I was at about my most cynical, I received a present from a very nice Continental employee. She boxed up and checked a bottle of wine, bought at the airport in Germany, which the security people in Newark wouldn’t let through. My attitude changed completely. I didn’t even mind that the next flight was an hour late and jammed with people carrying too many carry-on items to fit in the available space.